CRAZINESS

I’ve been working on this post in my head for a while now, but haven’t had the guts to write it.  Maybe it’s the New Year that has me feeling all brave, who knows, but I’m gonna do it…
One of the things I’ve really struggled with over this period of self-discovery is religion.  It’s kind of confusing really because I feel like my faith is stronger and I am more sure of what God wants from me and for me and I feel very peaceful. What I’m really struggling with is religion in general, what exactly is the point??
That sounds pretty bad, I know, but more and more I find myself questioning things that I know the church teaches or things that are being discussed in my Bible study or rules that I am expected to follow having the questions and even asking the questions does not mean any of those things.
My religion is actually really important to me, I enjoy the tradition and the ritual and more often than not\I hear something in the homily that resonates with me or gives me something to think about.  I have many, many friends.  I know at any time for any reason there is a group of women that I could call if I needed something…to talk, to help with my kids, to bring me a meal, anything at all.  Before I really get myself into trouble, let me just say that I am not an expert on any of this.  I read a lot, I recently had someone say to me they worry that the gates to heaven are much more narrow than we think, so   I’ve always had a problem with the assertion that one religion is right and all others are wrong.  I can’t wrap my brain around an all-loving, all-forgiving God who will arbitrarily send a soul to hell because they were Muslim or Jewish.
When we die, if we come face to face with God and have to answer for our lives on Earth, is he really going to care if we used birth control or supported a business run by a ?  I don’t think so.  I think we’re going to have to account for how we treated others.  Did we love our neighbors?  Did we treat others as we would like to be treated?  Did we do our best to live our lives with love and compassion and generosity and forgiveness?
.  Religion can be so exclusionary.   If there are so many blessings to be had in the sharing of the Eucharist, why wouldn’t we want to share it with all?
I am tired of the emails telling me to boycott a certain business because they support the homosexual lifestyle or not to participate in a certain charity event because the organization once gave money to Planned Parenthood.  Show me a business that isn’t run by a sinner…there isn’t one.  Are the people spreading the message to hurt these companies free of sin…of course not!  To me those emails and requests are spreading a message of hate and intolerance, not a message of Christianity.